65 and Sunny

I've been trying to figure out how to write this post for a while now...what I can write (due to security and operational concerns)...what I should write...what I can write without hurting people's feelings. I will do my best to make this post coherent, comprehensive, and at least somewhat tactful, but forgive me if I don't succeed.

I watched the National Geographic special with my family when I was there for Christmas. My dad was in India when it aired, so he taped it, and we all watched it together once we were back. Everything in the special was correct. Except... There was a part of the special where the reporter was visiting a unit that got hit. The narrative went something like this: "a week later, this same unit got hit again." The story spends all its time talking about the two times the unit was hit, but completely glosses over the week between where absolutely nothing happened. And this was one of the area's hot spots!

This is the fundamental flaw in the media's reporting of what happens in Afghanistan. For most Marines that deploy, there is much, much, much more sand, wind, heat, cold, boredom, walking around with 55lbs worth of gear on your back where you look at the same piece of ground that you've seen 50 times before than there is small arms fire or IEDs. Indeed, this is one of the largest challenges for Marine small-unit leaders: how to keep the Marines alert and non-complacent when nothing happens day after day after day, so they're not caught off guard on that one day when something does happen.

And then you have Marines such as myself, who go to Afghanistan and spend 95% or even 100% of their time sitting on a large base surrounded by thousands of other Marines, each of whom is equipped with a weapon and rounds. Can you imagine a safer place to be? Honestly, I am more likely to be killed or injured because I am hit by a car while riding my bike in Grants Pass than I am to be killed or injured while on such a base.

If you thought I was leaving off all the "dangerous parts" of my missions while I was blogging in country, that was largely not the case. I was on one mission where my convoy received enemy contact. We were all in armored vehicles at the time. No one was injured, except for some ringing ears. That went away after an hour, which means that no one was injured. I was on a separate convoy where we were in an area that had a high IED threat, and I was concerned we were going to hit an IED. We didn't.

Instead, we dug a couple vehicles out of some potholes in the desert. We came by around 1800 and the Marines told me they had been there since the morning. So they had been sitting there for at least eight hours, waiting for their unit to find someone with the assets to pull them out. They were several clicks away from the village, so they would see anyone coming a long ways out. Their unit knew where they were and could re-supply them with food and water indefinitely until the necessary assets were located. They could even be relieved by other Marines if it came down to it.

We had another mission that lasted about a week and a half where I thought there was a chance we might receive small arms fire, based on our analysis of the enemy situation before we left. We didn't. We had yet another mission of the same length where I didn't think we would be hit at all. We weren't. Can you detect a pattern here?

I know that my Battalion sent at least five Marines home while we were deployed, for various reasons. Only one of them was sent home because the Marine was injured from enemy contact. No one from our Battalion was killed while we were there, nor had anyone been killed in the Battalion that we relieved when we arrived in country.

I got two types of e-mails while I was in Afghanistan. One type said something to the effect that they were scared or worried about my safety, the other type was no different than the e-mails I received when I was stationed in Quantico and North Carolina. I can promise you one thing: no deployed Marine wants to read the first type of e-mail, regardless of how much danger they are (or aren't) in.

First of all, the person sending the e-mail isn't going to have an accurate picture how much danger the Marine is exposed to, and there is nothing the Marine can do to accurately present that picture to them. Second, if the Marine is not in much danger, you will only frustrate the Marine, that you don't understand what it's like. The Marine might even feel some guilt that there are Marines that are in danger while he or she is stationed in a safe location, and possibly some guilt because he is glad he is safe.

However, if the Marine is actually performing dangerous duties, then the Marine already has ways for dealing with his or her own fears. Trust me: even if the Marine acts as if nothing is out of the ordinary, the Marine still has fears and concerns. By telling a Marine that you are scared or worried, you are giving them your own emotional burden to deal with in addition to theirs.

Make no mistake--Marines experience every emotion that a civilian experiences. Our training doesn't take our emotions away, it teaches us to ignore them in order to get the job done. There were four of us in the truck who, on our last mission, were involved in the two roll-overs. We disliked the canal enough after the first time, but after the second time we hated it. Could you tell how much we disliked the canal by the way we acted? Not in the slightest. But we did.

This same approach--ignoring the emotion or simply acknowledging it and moving on--is what we want from our friends and family. Yes, we know you're scared. But trust me: the fear of the unknown, the imagined danger, is always worse than the actual situation that endangers the Marine.

There's another aspect, too. Each Marine has, for one reason or another, decided that the benefits we receive from being deployed, whether material or immaterial, are worth the risk of injury or death that we accept because of that deployment. We knew what we were signing up for when we signed up for it. When someone tells me they are scared, what I hear is: "that risk is unacceptable to me." Frankly, my decision to become a Marine and deploy overseas is just that--my decision, and no one else's.

So what do Marines want to hear? If we don't want to hear that our friends and loved ones are concerned for our safety, then what do we want to hear from them? When I returned from my convoy where my vehicle had hit an IED, I walked into my office to find a note from my Platoon Sergeant. He explained when he walked in the door a couple minutes later that he had left the note because he wasn't sure he would be there when I returned, but I saved it anyway. The note was very simple. It said: Glad you're back. Good Job.

That's all that's required. Welcome back. Good job. How are you doing?

Again, make no mistake: we need the support of our friends and family while we are overseas. Particularly during my first two months in Afghanistan, when I was still adjusting to my new job and the overseas environment, I would read and re-read every letter I received. And the parts I liked best were the parts where Mom told me about her math classes, or when when one friends asked me if I was doing NaNoWriMo this years, or when another friend talked about riding her bike at lunch.

So, 65 and sunny sounds like a great day for a ride. Once I get back, you can bet I'll go with you.